tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9023675699580033412024-03-05T23:21:03.563-08:00Ridiculous Product of the DayLia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-57420069073831675832010-11-23T20:11:00.000-08:002010-11-23T20:20:37.075-08:00Ho Ho Ho... just in time for the HolidaysAgain, a sporadic but inspired posting. <div><br /></div><div>So, lately I've been saying I need to go jeans shopping. The thing is... no one likes to go jean shopping. It's not fun like buying a new dress for an event, and jeans are rarely super flattering (often too long, too loose in the butt, too tight in the waist, too whatever in the whatever depending on the brand). I think the core reason is they're so mundane. It's like buying socks. No one gets excited to buy new everyday socks (hiking socks and fun colored knee socks are clearly exceptions). No one gets excited buying bread either - the every day things are generic and boring. Lucky for me... jeans no longer have to be boring. <div><br /></div><div>Remember 1998? Remember how jeans were really low and shirts were not tunic length? Remember how this combination made high school administrators flip out and yell and how most guys had no complains over how you could see every girl's thong sticking right up out of their pants? Well... no need to break out your 10 year old thongs, ladies. Whale tales of denim are here for you. </div><div><br /></div><div>I introduce to you.... <a href="http://www.sannas.jp/main/en/pants-jeans/bikini-pants.html">Bikini Pants</a></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHxRwX0Izg9XL8wUrEcNsIddOr032Y8AP0Yui1gg_2UpgTJGRWEneA45_waObYb7aekZfQnjmxb95id2HdaMeaWxwF7vxXMOOwNyTyKtSnsBVsXwJyRGMTvfPaoB7DI8ziuSk3W0GU6Aed/s320/Bikini+jeans+ho+my+god.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 226px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542965853558852722" /></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Ho My God. Brasil... I expected nothing less from you really... but perhaps a little better. Lord this is a terrible terrible thing - in all possible colors. Please, seriously, do not buy these for Christmas, or Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate. Just say no. Or HO NO. That'll work too. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-66113797344299447272010-09-25T09:20:00.000-07:002010-09-25T09:42:00.435-07:00Back from the dead...Though generally I have abandoned this blog for www.lettersfromlia.com ... I think for this one product, I had to make a new post. <div><br /></div><div>There's really not much that needs to be said about the Snazzy Napper (www.snazzynapper.com)... so I'll let this video speak for itself. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><br /><object width="340" height="275"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MthSUD8cMqk?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MthSUD8cMqk?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div>Honestly, a nap burka? Really? I like that in some of these scenes she's at an airport... so a. You look muslim, which I've heard makes air travel tons o'fun, b. you're telling everyone you're sleeping and cannot see at all... not even a little bit... so feel free to take my bag, or place bombs in it, or whatever. Please, by all means, go for it. </div><div><br /></div><div>This says nothing of how stupid you look. Though I do like the cloud and sheep touch... adorable. Perhaps this could be used as a baby blanket? But I'm not asking for one for my Christmas travel plans. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-16787178722959330282009-12-25T16:59:00.001-08:002009-12-25T17:23:20.689-08:00Protection you need at the HolidaysFirst, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, etc. etc. etc.<br />Wow it's been a long time. Sorry guys - grad school is apparently time consuming or something. Who knew?<br /><br />But alas, I made it through my first season in Minneapolis, and my first semester of school, and here I am back in Georgia for a week for Christmas before I head to Boston for New Years! I have found that when I'm in Georgia, it becomes a bit easier to find dumb products to write about. Perhaps it's just luck, or my keen eye for the absurdities of the South (I love it... but it's true)... and this week has been no exception. But this one, this one could certainly come in handy this time of year.<br /><br />For many of you, you have been celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus with your family this week. You've exchanged gifts like Nintendo Wii's, expensive jewelry, and of course cold hard cash (just as the Magi's gave Jesus in the manger). And you may be thinking... how can I protect these assets? I mean, sure, I live in a quiet cul-de-sac in a gated community, and we have motion sensor lights and an alarm system on my mini-mansion. Or alternately you think, I live in the middle of the country side, where very few people can even locate my camouflage patterned trailer in the woods, but I feel unsafe every day in this socialist America... either way, you know more must be done to protect your new Christmas treasures. And it should definitely involve a shot gun (at least for the 30 million households that already have a shot gun in the home... and probably more).<br /><br />But how? If an intruder were to burst into my home (perhaps even through the chimney), how would I ever get to my rifle fast enough to protect my new iPhone and toy hampsters? It's just too far all the way under my side of the bed! I would have to get out of bed to reach it! The horror!!!<br /><br />Worry no more.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.the-backup.com/">The BackUp</a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;" id="ctl00_ContentPlaceHolder1_grdTestimonals_ctl02_lblDescription">Although America is the greatest country in the world, the frightening reality is that Americans are not safe in their own homes."<br /><br /></span></div><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6r3B0bi4_Iw&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6r3B0bi4_Iw&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Now you can intimidate, and even shoot intruders from the lying position. If you remain under the covers, this will surely protect you from any grotesque blood spatter, as well as any psychological scarring that would surely occur otherwise if you were in less relaxed stance. In addition, you can be sure to free up space on your night stand for your Jack Daniel's bottle and Fox News celebrity bobble head collection. As a bonus, your shot gun will be extremely accessible when your remote dies as you're flipping past those liberal media stations like CSPAN and ABC and would rather just destroy the TV than watch that until more batteries can be located.<br /><br />I, for one, will be purchasing a Back Up for all my friends and family this year for their birthdays. My hope is that this will usher in a safer, more communist free America in 2010, and inspire millions of gun owners to realize the best place to fight for freedom and justice for the crazy minority is right from the comfort of their own beds.Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-87954716431836712052009-10-27T13:59:00.000-07:002009-10-27T14:21:11.686-07:00Homeless by Design<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; font-size: small; ">So after getting back my accounting final today (I scored a sub-par 64 of 104)... I decided that perhaps I should just plan my life around being unemployed. And then I thought, hey, why not go all out? I should start prepping now for homelessness. I already have a collection of strange and heavily warn t-shirts from high school that I've been wearing as gym/pj shirts for years now (classy, I know). But what about bedding? Certainly my navy and white geometrically patterned duvet will not do on the streets. Nor will my gloriously rust colored sheets with small eyelets around the seams. They just won't do. But wherever can I get homeless appropriate home goods?</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.dutchbydesign.com/ukSoft-Furnishings/products-Home-Duvet-Cover-King_LC-2007003.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This UK company has me all set up. </span></span></a></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7D2UZ4UbPr42a9S1Xd5AJ3bGEZ4gUm9Zk3Gmw2HOyPzhW_cPJw90QzYU6YWXFjy7A1Tb22kVj0aZtw_3afnwF7Pw_9Zv3qOK4no5mpqerMFjayzdvZJMgqFCbgKqAFvxt8E22vMscIbVz/s320/LC-2007003_1_Zoom.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 319px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397388715282489778" /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So this is a 'cardboard box' patterned duvet. It can be partnered with accompanying pillow cases (as shown), as well as sheets in a lovely stone sidewalk pattern, as seen below. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6o5Y1wixAb_kIQ55m5_WVfHRebgPyYKIcKuZ1FJPMZ7HQoR9oBBshMxqWQMI9oBiGZE4UkoLKvLh03-CE_dkQjEoGNKkY414V5I7QWbQBN3EnNrZGcC3ZouAJknbWEAYzp2RZsvD0gxm3/s320/trottoir18_1_Zoom.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 319px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397389073510148802" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I can only imagine how bad ass this is to hipster teenagers in England. I mean, what makes passing out drunk and unbathed in your skinny jeans while listening to the Clash show more awesome dedication to the hipster, punk rawk lifestyle? AND some of the profits go to charity! So you can 'keep it real' and give your capitalistic proceeds to the less fortunate. Now you're a green/socially forward thinking hipster. OMG. You will be getting ALL the skinny hippie groupie girls into your homeless dude bed in no time. Fail proof plan really. Every self respecting girl on heroin has been begging to sleep on a </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">fake</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> sidewalk for years now. It's way better than passing out on a real one, I'm sure of it. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I guess I can't judge. It goes to a 'good cause,' which I'm a sucker for, of course. But really? Who did the product design on this? I do also admire that it addresses the quality of the image and print quality saying </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">'</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>This high quality flat sheet features a photographic print of a pavement. This produces an extremely sharp image that stays flexible because the ink is printed directly in the cotton. The image will stay crisp after frequent washing.'</i> *PHEW* I mean, I plan on washing my homeless person sheets ALL THE TIME. Just like the homeless do. I wouldn't want my cardboard box duvet to fade after I wash out the smell of clove cigarettes and PBR and replace it with the scent of mom's Downy fabric softener and dirty white kid dreadlocks. That would be horrible. </span></span></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-5844561673130070692009-09-28T17:54:00.001-07:002009-09-28T18:08:30.535-07:00Solution to chronic anemia?I'm coming out of pseudo-grad-school-induced-hiatus for this one. Seriously. Ever see that really creepy kid in high school who appeared as though they'd never ventured out except to sneak through the woods to their house to play Dungeons and Dragons? Ya, the one with severe vitamin D and K deficiencies... ever think they were a vampire? No? Ok... ever think they WISH they were a vampire? YES!<br /><br />Of course. Because vampires are the hippest, sexiest things since fake boobs and crop tops in the early 90's and matching poofy bangs and sleeves in the 80's. Vampires, and their blood drinking ways, have grasped America by the throat (perhaps only figuratively... for now).<br /><br />Now, some logical people might think that it's borderline irresponsible to even humor vampire emulation in adolescents. These people are anti fangs and neck biting and Twilight vampire family incest. But those people are boring. And clearly not going to make huge sums of money from milking (or bleeding) this trend for all it's worth. Luckily, the company who made this was not made of such logical, reasonable, overly conservative folks.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjThAuE4_SnLPDq21tbW-JMizJ_ytFk8YFA1FLjrimrw1xFU2v3zxxjCCBvAYJFygYluSDYGycgp2bbJOn9CNueE82MNdVOG_4yCJWdESb2rJmImeR8wD6jdWC1XxXvAnYvVW69tm5spvH3/s1600-h/true_blood_bag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 290px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjThAuE4_SnLPDq21tbW-JMizJ_ytFk8YFA1FLjrimrw1xFU2v3zxxjCCBvAYJFygYluSDYGycgp2bbJOn9CNueE82MNdVOG_4yCJWdESb2rJmImeR8wD6jdWC1XxXvAnYvVW69tm5spvH3/s320/true_blood_bag.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386688000515224002" border="0" /></a><br />Yup. Blood Energy Potion will be on the market January 2010. You can pre-order this punch flavored blood-replica for $6 a pouch. Blood replica you ask? What does that mean? Oh, just that ingesting this concoction will give you the same 'nutritional' value of real human blood. Protein, iron, electrolites... and the same consistency as blood. Advertised as giving you the "real blood nutrients without that real blood taste!"MMMM just what I was looking for in my next refreshing beverage! Although I honestly can't wait to see middle school bus floors littered with IV bags... I'm sure that won't alert the 'zero tolerance' police at all!<br /><br />Don't be too alarmed, the company assures me it's not real blood, just synthetic. In case we were worried that Obama's communist dictatorship made the FDA release human blood... we're assured they did not.<br /><br />Although I can't see myself purchasing this one, you never know. If I'm ever in a vampire costume triathlon, this might be just what I need to get through all that sun exposure. Could come in handy for practical jokes as well.Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-50457165949558395052009-04-24T10:28:00.000-07:002009-04-24T10:56:53.670-07:00Because plunging wasn't fun...<div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So I admit it, I like some good bathroom humor from time to time. I may have the maturity of a 10 year old, but to me, farting is still funny and any story where someone is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">embarrassed</span> by being accidentally and/or suddenly naked is hilarious. Judge me if you must. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But this is why THIS thing looks both disgusting and awesome. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metro-products.com/jjMain.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Johnny Jolter</span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://www.jnkproducts.com/images/metro/powerplunger.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 226px; height: 277px;" border="0" alt="" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Ok</span>.... so imagine you have a nice dinner party. Everyone is mingling, socializing, sipping on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">frou</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">frou</span> drinks and eating teeny weeny quiches and stuffed mushrooms you pretended to make from scratch but really just bought frozen from Trader Joe's. You even may have managed to start having a good time at your own party (which is no small feat, in my opinion). But then a guest approaches you and whispers about a dark, evil, and unfortunate circumstance. The main toilet is clogged. This guest, of course, 'doesn't know who's fault it was' because 'it was like that when [she] went to use it.' But fault is not going to help anyone. The party cannot go on for much longer without a working <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">commode</span>. Only dirty frat parties, and about 2 of every 5 bars in Boston, can do without proper bathrooms. What do you do?</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Well... most people put a giant <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">XXXL</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">tshirt</span> over their cocktail dress, or roll up their oxford sleeves and grab the plunger. It's a gross, smelly and all around unpleasant job, but it must be done. Suction cupping the toilet it is. But what if you had another way? A way that involved a gun like object? This does sound more fun... and you could definitely convince your 10 year old to come down from playing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Wii</span> upstairs and try to shoot water at poop (... <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">seriously</span>, it sounds stupid, but you totally know its true. Boys love to shoot things. Especially gross things). </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But I have a few questions. One... why is this ladies' toilet so weird? Does your toilet go straight down??? Ya... mine neither. Two... does it sound like an incredibly poor idea to anyone else that this product</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Draws water into its cylinder" from the said clogged toilet? Uh... gross! Thankfully this last one is remedied because the Johnny Jolter (after you draw in water, and blast down the 'clogging item,' if you will) can be full disassembled for cleaning. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px; "><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So... basically you:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">1. draw up poo water </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">2. shoot poo water forcefully (possibly numerous times)</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">and then </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">3. get the fun job of washing this thing by hand</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> Something tells me if this picture were of, well, an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">actually</span> clogged toilet, or if it was of step 3, this lady would not be so pleasantly smirking about this process. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ya know, as cool as a toilet gun may SOUND... I think I'd rather just put on my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">XXXL</span>, plunge it, wash my hands and get back to eating my mushy mini quiche. </span></div></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-6519149184008547452009-04-21T10:14:00.000-07:002009-04-21T11:17:15.405-07:00If I had an iron, I'd iron my breakfast meats...wait, what?So, as you may know, I'm a huge proponent of cooking. And I lust after kitchen gadgets like frat dudes on spring break. Seriously, it's bad. My level of resistance to new pans/pots/measuring cups/pizza stones/pot holders/garlic presses (you see the problem here...) is quite low. If I read a blog about a kind of cake, I want to try out making this cake and I must buy the new pan for it. But even I have my limitations and today I found it. <div><br /></div><div>While perusing Surlatable.com (I was looking at pretty canning jars for storage and cast iron skillets), I found a bacon press. A bacon press? Wait... what? You can iron your bacon? Yes... yes you can. </div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51hP5nPbJwCkJOMihjl453e1vydaxs6muJ_Hcp7NhH9DkdWvMx1OnP75gGjsoPSjOU9oDicovHe6rWCMwo79Xm6hAl81AKEoSV8x46tHunnF-_PDZh1eNe3x17gMbyq13b-B-LiMzFobS/s320/baconpress.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327196641936328850" /><div><br /></div><div>Apparently the biggest tragedy in breakfast foods and bacon-added sandwiches is the wrinkles of the bacon. And a regular old grill press (see <a href="http://http//www.surlatable.com/product/kitchen+%26+bar+tools/specialty+tools/meat+%26+poultry/cast+iron+grill+press.do?search=basic&keyword=cast+iron+skillet&sortby=ourPicks&page=1">here</a> ...they use them at restaurants to cook your burgers faster) will not do. No no no. What if we need to cook our bacon and the burger at the same time??? We cannot press them both! And I cannot possibly eat one more sandwich with wrinkly bacon that cracks ununiformly when I bite it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Also, clearly bacon needs to be reminded that it used to be a pig. And that now it has been stripped, salted and now pressed into submission as my food. So we like to remind it with a cute little piggy emblem that will sear onto the bacon. Hahaha take that. It's like the waterboarding of meat products - gotta show them who runs this kitchen !</div><div><br /></div><div>I'd like 3 please. My birthday is July 25th, just in case you didn't already have it highlighted on your calendar. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-91710252895275359532009-04-13T06:47:00.000-07:002009-04-13T08:40:34.646-07:00Double Trouble in Apartment Hunting<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8xZOw0-8suImSlNwk-oYImBBURK7nzKB_JXW8Fr7rBYYb1RtN6k9Rlqs4PgHO-yhg8xFpZW-1y_Xeg67qncpeoDp_e-n7JexlbnH0pGqkd-c295aps2i7xwUgHrH6s3CyHr31Y2herxOk/s1600-h/bath.jpg"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />Today is an unconventional ridiculous 'product'. Here's a little back story... so I'm moving to a new city in August (Minneapolis to be exact) and I'm trying to find a place to live. Now, this is awkward for a few reasons. One, I cannot go look at places to live in person. Two, I want to live with a roommate (living by myself is boring/lonely), but again, cannot go up and meet people. So craigslist and phone chats it is. And for the most part people are pretty honest - they want a good roommate as much as I do. But I've found this odd sect of people (*cough* guys) on Craigslist who have decided it's a good idea to combine their dating post with their housing post. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A few examples: <br /></span></div> <h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">$400 Room for rent at my house (Minneapolis)</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Date: 2009-04-12, 11:03PM CDT<br /><br /><br /></span><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I have a room for rent in the Cleveland neighborhood of Minneapolis. Its a great neighborhood near the park system and near the busline. Its about a 7 minute drive downtown and $12 cab ride downtown. My house is a 4 bedroom 3 bath. The room is on the 2nd floor.<br /><br />$400/month includes laundry, Internet, Cable TV, Heat, Water, grabage, and electricity. The house has lots of storage space, remodeled kitchen with stainless steel appliances, a dishwasher, central air conditioning, and a ping pong table.<br /><br />Room could be furnished if need be.<br /><br />I have attached some pictures of myself and the place. You can also look me up on facebook. I am an intelligent, ambitious, tall, single male in my late 20s. I work in the IT field and am a real estate broker. I am busy socially and professionally. I like to play basketball and exercise quite frequently. Rent can be month to month if needed.<br /><br />Let me know if interested. Feel free to reply or call. I am a bit busy, but will respond within 24 hours.<br /><br />Scott ****</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> (yes, he did put his full name on Craigslist, but I feel wrong reposting that.) </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />612-***-**** </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(again, yup... we could call him for a good time</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)<br /><br /></span><ul> <li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">cats are OK - purrr </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">dogs are OK - wooof </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Location: Minneapolis </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</span></li></ul> <table summary="craigslist hosted images"> <tbody> <tr> <td align="middle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img alt="image 1119552045-0" src="http://images.craigslist.org/3n53m53pdZZZZZZZZZ94c7eb1a65b3e09111b.jpg" /><br /><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8xZOw0-8suImSlNwk-oYImBBURK7nzKB_JXW8Fr7rBYYb1RtN6k9Rlqs4PgHO-yhg8xFpZW-1y_Xeg67qncpeoDp_e-n7JexlbnH0pGqkd-c295aps2i7xwUgHrH6s3CyHr31Y2herxOk/s320/bath.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324190859678569618" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 300px; " /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img alt="image 1119552045-1" src="http://images.craigslist.org/3nc3p83o6ZZZZZZZZZ94c140a29a123af198b.jpg" /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img alt="image 1119552045-2" src="http://images.craigslist.org/3n73m33laZZZZZZZZZ94ca5bb888c78c7188e.jpg" /><br /></span></div></td><td align="middle"></td></tr><tr><td align="middle" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span></td> <td align="middle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So 3 pictures of the house... and one shot of him. Now.... why do i need to know if he's tall, or single? I am looking for an apartment. Not a bed buddy. If I was looking for someone to share my life with... I probably wouldn't want my own room. Just saying. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><script src="http://www.craigslist.org/js/jquery.js" type="text/javascript"></script><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><script src="http://www.craigslist.org/js/postings.js" type="text/javascript"></script><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Another option... </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">female companion...almost free (mpls)</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Date: 2009-04-12, 2:17PM CDT<br /><br /><br /></span><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I am a 30s single liberal male with an extra bdrm. I am looking for a sexy open minded female to join me at my 3 bdrm nicely furnished upper duplex in uptown. The room is available today, and I am open to all possible offers or arrangements. <br /><br /></span><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Location: mpls</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</span></li></ul><table summary="craigslist hosted images"><tbody><tr><td align="center"></td><td align="center"></td></tr><tr><td align="center"></td><td align="center"></td></tr></tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Great! This doesn't sound dangerous or stupid at all! No info on the space at all. No pictures of the apartment or the person. No name even. Sounds great - can I movein tomorrow? Really you're just a live in maid/prostitute in this situation I'm pretty sure. But lastly... man, this is a class act. </span></span></div><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; "><h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">$475 seeking younger stoner female roommate! (South Minny/Richfield) (map)</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Date: 2009-04-01, 1:05AM CDT<br /><br /><br /></span><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I have a 2br house to myself. Rent is negotiable. I don't really NEED a roommate, but figured if a cool cat came around that needed a spot, i'd be willing to rent it. I am 27 single, and don't have peeps over much. Not home a lot. Both neighbors are good friends of mine. The house is a duplex, and the neighbor i share walls with is a DJ. So applicant may want to be partial to electro/house music:) To be entirely frank, I have a maid come once a month, and the last time they came they stole some shit. Now I don't have a maid... Not implying that my roomy would take her place, but i'd be willing to deduct rent if that was assured. I'm quite busy and rather lazy. Not gonna lie. Just gonna put it out there for ya. If this seems like something you'd be interested in, email me a lil about yourself and we'll talk. Cheers <br /><br />58th at Blaisdell </span><small><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">(</span><a target="_blank" href="http://maps.google.com/?q=loc%3A%35%38th+at+Blaisdell+minneapolis+mn+US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">google map</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">) (</span><a target="_blank" href="http://maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?addr=%35%38th+at+Blaisdell&csz=minneapolis+mn&country=US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">yahoo map</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">)</span></small><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Location: South Minny/Richfield</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</span></li></ul><table summary="craigslist hosted images"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3na3m23ofZZZZZZZZZ93v7b21a20c6ada13b5.jpg" alt="image 1101747789-0" /></span></td><td align="center"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3n53mf3o7ZZZZZZZZZ93v73e6ba94d9b41fb6.jpg" alt="image 1101747789-1" /></span><div style="text-align: -webkit-center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ya, I'm emailing this dude RIGHT NOW. Uber classy, clearly. And totally my type. Mmmm look at that blue steel pout. And house music? I LOVE house music; that will really help me study for my MBA courses too. To heck with what I said. This is a great way to sell yourself and your home together as a package deal and to shop for other people who see themselves as commodities! I'm posting my listing right now... of course I will include pouting pictures and me in soemthing maid like... perhaps a bikini and apron? I'll have free rent and no self respect in no time! TADA!</span></span></div><div id="userbody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div></span><br /></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-41219510153347800442009-04-07T11:03:00.000-07:002009-04-07T11:28:47.788-07:00Jump, Skip, and Hop... don't do it without help!Ok, so if you've ever been to the gym with me (*ahem* Jules) and gone to a class where jumping rope is required... you'll know I'm not that coordinated at it. I like to blame it on the length of the rope usually... but it's kind of just that I'm spazzy. I can hop until my face turns blue but trying to coordinate that with my arms some how doesn't go so well. It's really not a huge deal. I just hop in place for that portion. But a solution exists! It's somewhat like the skipit from way back in the day (see below)<br /><br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl6lxo1nLFvzvlBFJtg0afLMKgyveqyXSVsG5fxO-Q0rAHocIWvhsZ6053_W9PwsVBoUYxfJ2Ok9AwCa6eyzTyFBenru3Nvtl2FbDiljXsCMKmE3k4ifexHgICt1q2RWDDdeT8M3qfP5Kc/s320/skipit.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 275px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322014960073392130" /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> Here is the new fancy infomercialed... <a href="http://jumpsnap.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">JumpSnap (this one is in the pink package!)</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbYvWg37RD08svgvKxVXBMVKZ_hU_I_8r7yIFumwmxqzI4wMYHxXUfXByjAhhKcYkV7a9Fn_H6eZoKp_5pMv92p6k88kBnc5k9HeSMzEyoSacOBXeibMoUd_VmnEno2Q3wcUBeM2vxbCF/s320/details_pink.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322015491245611762" /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Soooo basically you get these pink, padded, 'special' wii remotes/hair brushes/sticks that you hold while you fake jump rope. And you can get training DVD's with them... um... to show you how to jump successfully with things in your hands. I'm guessing they count your jumps/rotations? I didnt' get more than 10 seconds into the silly infomercial on their website before laughing at that poor girl on the treadmill looking miserable. It does tell you that jump roping is why boxers are so fit. Which isn't <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">quite </span>accurate (i'm pretty sure the actual act of boxing does have some input there), but we'll go with it. I also like that they promote how fun these are. As if you can't just jump outside in a puddle and have more fun than holding these and watching a skinny twit in a sports bra instruct you through your tv. Whatever makes people happy - but this does NOT seem worth the 40-100 dollars to just use your legs. It's like buying a stair master when you can just move to the 4th floor. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-79553031210451955612009-03-31T07:17:00.000-07:002009-03-31T13:16:39.205-07:00Marsupial Momma (or Pouch Papa)This... this is just an interesting product. It's hitting all the blogs now, so you may have just seen it. But I'm going to cover it anyway because, well, it's a horrible take on a great idea. May I introduce to you... the <a href="http://www.mom4life.com/catalog.php?item=1290">Peekaru</a>.<div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK_NWWH4Lx_6mlLIjDwU3-J9ZRLYs4wvxQlX3xKOZDYo-fr9j9tmG3cdxifLb9xj8n3a4CuUyiUjpqPJP5n3k_oJhbrOJnqXAl0ur6Ng9tUAqOXGMtsT0a7Q30EWOsM3mvt-_7w5vXwvVI/s320/kangaroo.jpg" /> or... <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMEFgqb1nY12cGWGJ-x1MIy9hS7p_o2uRYsda7l1Fi1mZEyaOlXC3TughvwH7P_wDeGizzSEf0p-B5pfUlTzToM2dIFgmmY59m5N_OcExeQBbX3RmKpjhWITpcF-91KxIiMof3fCAj8_gS/s320/peekaruVest_grey.jpg" /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So in Malawi, women carry their kids (although on their back, not front) in large fabric wraps called chitejes. In fact, this is pretty common all over Africa and traditionally a very normal way to carry kids in nearly all cultures. I get that. Your arms get tired. I've even seen the front packs for little ones. Hilarious but awesome. My deal here is... why must this a) be fuzzy fleeze. b) be a vest c) be as long as the child?</div><div><br /></div><div>This has to be extremely hot. And that baby on the left looks terrifying. It's like you've never birthed the kid. It's just peaking out a little window in your belly that now holds a 3 year old. I just don't get why we need all these strange contraptions. For thousands of years we've made a sling out of cloth and been on our merry way. Now we want to be marsupials or something. We're not marsupials. If God wanted us to have a pouch, we would have one (and weird fat flaps when you're obese is NOT what I'm talking about). We dont' need to turn ourselves into furry pouched creatures to love and care for our kids. Stay strong moms - stay human and carry your kids a similar manner. I believe in you... fight those strong marsupial desires and tendencies!</div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-47025589656788926622009-03-27T09:58:00.000-07:002009-03-27T10:01:12.963-07:00Oh Japan... you are greatWow I've gotten lazy. I swear, soon I will return to my sarcasm and mockery of products. But for now, I'll share this. <a href="http://www.oddee.com/item_96451.aspx">Top Ten Crazy Japanese Products</a> (as if anyone could REALLY pick 10... but they're ones I haven't seen, so they're worth a look). <div><br /></div><div>I'm frolicking in the midwest for the next 2 weekends, and working in between, but hopefully I'll get some posted next week. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-15080016258573262042009-03-24T11:33:00.000-07:002009-03-24T11:45:02.919-07:00Making math fun!I haven't been very good at posting as I've been all scattered... and today is no different. But I will share a sample from a website I particularly like called <a href="http://www.morenewmath.com/">New Math.</a><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNiKkBvD6CWg1SA42X5IQ9JHFG0PEjXOwr9ep0dfrMEsLYvSy3wYDmk49tE68Ap4TFJ32DCr5XkBjvRETAAuA_Tg7eki3GF1JaTrx9-N-FJUi5dH501jAzN6BD042n0cM7Cxo0bHHd1NQM/s320/154.gif" /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">hehehe... check out the site. There are a ton of good ones. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-68747741721957124482009-03-18T11:29:00.000-07:002009-03-18T11:59:16.612-07:00More relaxation from SkyMall<div>Well, first, here's Fox News' <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509673,00.htmlhttp://">list of top dumb inventions.</a> I generally don't trust Fox News for much information, but this seems like something they might be alright at ranking. There are a few good ones (I like the battery powered battery charger myself). </div><div><br /></div><div>But none of these are as good as SkyMall relaxation tools. We had the mind spa. Now, onto the...</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.sportstherapyconnection.com/neckpro-cervical-traction-device-neck-pro-traction-device.htmlhttp://"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">NeckPro Traction Device</span></a></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0nwIdTv98WhVJSmj-bJbIy6SCRGgVYiLmLat3xJLUy2JgDx9O9oDKkrE_f2z8ue8YzH4L2LU8Q7FpXQVwEoPBhTp-7FH6EROt0ZnXQ-cG0-xHmpjWtA3F5Wh0Aon8aJr0y-KM6HW7RIwG/s1600-h/neckpro-overdoor-cervical-traction-device.4395.1.300.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0nwIdTv98WhVJSmj-bJbIy6SCRGgVYiLmLat3xJLUy2JgDx9O9oDKkrE_f2z8ue8YzH4L2LU8Q7FpXQVwEoPBhTp-7FH6EROt0ZnXQ-cG0-xHmpjWtA3F5Wh0Aon8aJr0y-KM6HW7RIwG/s320/neckpro-overdoor-cervical-traction-device.4395.1.300.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314597280725687362" /></a><br /><div>I really don't need to say much about this, do I? Basically, you hook up this jock strap around your chin and neck. Then you hoist the attached cord over a pulley connected to a door. Then you pull. OH! Be sure to grab a chair (not included). Otherwise, you'll probably get a really great neck adjustment and also hang yourself. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's pretty morbid, but I'm thinking they should sell this in black, with some studs no it. Really draw in that emo market/goth rock market in.. um...neck adjustments....or something. Was that insensitive?</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyways, I've been brainstorming about what else this could do if you weren't feeling remarkably suicidal but had bought this product because, well, you were before. Maybe it would be a decent neck/ear warmer for skiing. Or.. um... a dog walking harness for your shitzu. Or... you could fashion it into some kind of brace if you twisted your ankle hiking. That's it really. I can tell you, that is NOT on my wish list for my birthday. Although, if you got it for me, it sure would send a clear, Godfatheresque message that we were no longer friends. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-42750053340055102202009-03-13T13:09:00.000-07:002009-03-13T13:21:47.766-07:00Relax, it's the weekend... for only $349.95<div>Now some people have a nice drink to relax. Maybe watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. Even with a major trip behind you, and lots of jet lag, many would just sleep at the correct time, eat right, and exercise to readjust. But really - is this good enough for you? Aren't you better than that? I know I sure am. Which is why I'm expecting you all to buy me one of these for my birthday (which is July 25th for all you who don't have it on your calendar yet).</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102838067&c=http://">The Mind Spa</a></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.skymall.com/images/products/HAM/102838067d.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 268px;" src="http://www.skymall.com/images/products/HAM/102838067d.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Another genius idea from SkyMall... this is the end all be all in personal relaxation. But honestly, it's pretty ambiguous about what the heck it does. But here are a few features:<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"includes a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">pair of glasses that have 12 white LEDs embedded into the inside face, surrounding your orbital lobes with an array of gentle, pleasing light"</span> ... so the most relaxing thing we can think to make ourselves view is our own UFO sighting? I don't think bright </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">pulsing patterns will help me relieve stress. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">the lights and the soundscapes are set to match four frequencies--beta, alpha, theta, and delta--which oscillate between 1-30 Hz to help improve concentration" </span>K... so now we have these programmed light/audio sets that last up to 25 minutes in different frequencies? So I see pulsating orb-y lights around my temples and hear droning pitches for half an hour ... at decibels loud enough to drown out jet engines? And again... I'm relaxed? </span></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm pretty sure this thing would just make me trip out. Now, I've never done any hallucinogenic drugs, but I'm pretty sure I could get some for less than $350. And really, this is just your own personal LSD riddled laser show I'm pretty sure. Man, you SkyMall hippies. You would think of this. You would. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-62722582261854420172009-03-12T11:45:00.000-07:002009-03-12T12:26:54.470-07:00Whole new meaning to 'Grandma does needlepoint'So, I'm back. In fact, I've been back for a couple days. But they've been VERY eventful, so I didn't blog. I've been busy getting into graduate school and getting scholarship and the like. So that's cool. Of course, the same day I got a merit based scholarship, I lost one of my gym sneakers in my apartment and have yet to find it (after more than an hour of digging through my room...) so my real intelligence is still up for debate. But nevermind that. <div><br /></div><div>As you know, I've been doing a little flying. And when you fly, you get bored of sitting. Inevitably you look in the seat pocket in front of you, ignore the barf bag and the safety card (which one serves to freak you out that you're a few miles in the air), and pick up SkyMall. SkyMall is fabulous and full of silly things. The next few posts will be dedicated to the glory of Sky Mall. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102104461&c=10645&v=&ddi=/products/fd/15/06/102104461gx1.jpghttp://"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Aculife Therapist Deluxe</span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Be your own acupuncturist. Diagnose and heal yourself and your family"</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOFS3gGIPOnQHHrMdQO17jYxonsOSomm61w7ZtCJUUtbsiwz0WZeK9R1HZi2FOTR-PEUD81ZLfPtnTb-GyawFWnS8dPNAG6H8IaCTNJc11vfz0qZp7SQWhaT4KuCEgRXnnbVpKSblPVE_1/s320/aculife.jpg" /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">One might guess that in a SkyMall magazine, I could scan right past this. It looks generic and harmless. It could be an mp3 player, an insulin tester, a travel alarm clock... no big deal. But the tag line. Does this seem like a good plan? Not only are you being a therapist of something you have no training in, you are being TOLD to diagnose yourself. I mean, alternative medicine is one thing, but skipping out on all trained doctors all together? Doesn't seem smart. Or safe. And why am I being told this while I'm on a plane? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Also, this doesn't involve needles. Which I'm pretty sure is the point of acu<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">puncture</span>. Mostly I get this from the puncture part of the word. This is more acupressure. Or acu-shock. Since that's what this gadget does. It helps you relieve blocked 'qi' but finding your 'qi spots' (with hand map sent with kit) and zap them with a charge. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeX0HCv-zPpNR5cHKQCJUyo7ZXddedc6L_u61lVTwEugXH8HqguSGy1zXYctHmaQzq6MO0RAQN_QyZUQ3qJLcznoWRYixIZAdpjXYHQvBxP5iZvDWmKmTs5iPamsRA0B9K6inBE6qjuq-E/s320/handqi.jpg" /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ya know, I could just blow up this hand picture in the magazine, get my hand damp and stick a 12 volt to it right? Clear up my 'Qi' real fast. Done and done. Equally as dumb and probably equally as healthy. </div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-37338996288609905262009-03-04T10:14:00.000-08:002009-03-04T11:12:37.610-08:00Beach ShelterSo I'm going to Florida tonight and I cannot wait to play in the sun at the beach. If I'm not playing paddle ball or swimming around, I'm probably napping in the sun or making innappropriate jokes with the girls. All good things. You know why these are fun to do at the beach? Because it's sunny and warm, and there's water to play in. You know what destroy's the entire point of being at the beach?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.shadeusa.com/beach_cabanas.htm#GO-ZEBO">Tent bigger than my bedroom</a></span></div><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309411042241133666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 180px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK8rlbLS5bEsWx_9R4oL_AONkTerDFsmJkamGgnbHDc5tPFBBRHxpccLiCNEOSWWQ4uu-8pj5DoSpIe5_Bnf5IqYUgefKnDDriow5z7LbdfB60wAmRD58Wo6oodXxnkvumV4RESIsKLVsV/s320/gozebo_2.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>SPF 50 roof. 11' by 11' large. You don't touch the sand. You don't feel the sun. You close the screens and you can't even really feel the wind. Sooo... basically we could just pick you up, put you in a parking lot (bonus: less screaming children and lifeguards whistling in the parking lot), and you'd be happy. And we pay 1000's of dollars for beach front resorts etc. just so we can be 'inside'? Why not just stay inside, crank up the heat and pretend you're enjoying some summer fun? Of course, this tent won't even fit in my apartment it's so big... so perhaps I'll just bring it out to my parking lot out back. Maybe I can get the tent towed for 'parking' in someone elses spot even. That'd be an awesome adventure.... possible asphalt burn though. </p><p>Anyway, I will not be using a full beach tent this weekend. I'll be actually feeling the sun and wind and sand.... man, I've become pretty badass in my love of nature.</p><div align="center"></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-71433879701663969392009-03-02T19:15:00.000-08:002009-03-02T19:36:46.592-08:00Bling BlingSo I've been looking around for phones lately. I don't need it... my phone is fine. But as I'm prepping to go to business school, I feel I can't go get an MBA without a fancy blackberry or iPhone. I know it sounds dumb... but I've been looking anyway. My issue... budget.<br /><br />And then I came across THIS one, and I knew I'd found it.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog.taragana.com/index.php/archive/most-expensive-iphone/"><span style="font-size:130%;">Apple iPhone 3G Kings Button</span></a><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1QrKfiRAlI7FFnq7dUP3f-wgsOs_cCy00h4_Aq7Do2ZA8lDnMBvQVxedV78Ewbuev9ij3duPc0WYazhVejX9HOkuS76MJWyXyQpKKEv3mR1UoUSFR4gXO4rdgFc7QvSS0nFyI0xqRbcBl/s1600-h/12349.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 281px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1QrKfiRAlI7FFnq7dUP3f-wgsOs_cCy00h4_Aq7Do2ZA8lDnMBvQVxedV78Ewbuev9ij3duPc0WYazhVejX9HOkuS76MJWyXyQpKKEv3mR1UoUSFR4gXO4rdgFc7QvSS0nFyI0xqRbcBl/s320/12349.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308796509498490178" border="0" /></a>An Austrian jeweler has doctored up this little ditty for us. Yellow and White Gold. 160 diamonds. Over 6 and a half carats. Clearly my 'budget' issue is all wrong! I can't find a good phone that's affordable enough... I need THIS one that's completely ridiculous! I mean, if I'm going to take out student loans to pay for a new computer and a new phone... why not up it to get a 2.5 million dollar one? And really, it's an investment. In 2 years, a 2009 3G iPhone won't be worth much. But 6.6 carats in diamonds? Ya... maybe still valuable. And the yellow and white gold? According to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Cashforgold</span>.com I can get more than I expect for my gold! And the prices are rising!<br /><br />I'm sold. I'll skip the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">camouflage</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">crock pot</span>. I'll skip the moss bathmat. I'll even skip that convenient pee funnel that would bring gender equality to the universe. I'm gonna stick with the diamond encrusted phone. As long as I can set the ring tone to go "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">bling</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">bling</span>."<br /><br /> And hey - maybe I can lure Paris Hilton or Lindsey <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Lohan</span>, or Taylor Swift to the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">shininess</span> and slyly make them fall into a hole and not resurface anytime soon. It'd be for the benefit of the universe really. Think of all the dumb celebrities I could save our nation from!Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-84272728023185414452009-02-27T08:34:00.000-08:002009-02-27T10:05:26.549-08:00Man Oh Man<div align="left">First, I'm bad at this daily thing. I should've named this blog "Ridiculous Product of Most Days"... alas, I did not. Nothing I can do now. However, if I'm feeling a little down and need a good pick me up, I CAN put on some control top panty hose and strut my hot stuff. It always makes a girl feel better to look awesome (even if it means being a bit confined). Lucky for you gentlemen, or dudes if you're more of that persuation, this option is coming your way.<br /><br />Got a flubby tummy? Maybe even a muffin top? *gasp* No longer.<br /></div><div align="center"><br /><a href="http://international.equmen.com/index.htm">Core Precision Undershirt</a></div><div align="center"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5307519074998668338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 238px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1UGJzDDUOKEB7mqfu0kZW4n2xSHLxLqfPjJY18Q7uFLJ9jWvPjPatUDvpTmvzceIyB8xCe2DIruoH6tghPq8A-YbjolBZCDEk8oDImXdgz4LObky9Al_I3afteMBsjUL7RNLD5PMpCVe/s320/styles-benefit-01.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div align="left">Ya, this tummy-tucking man girdle shirt makes you SO sexy that girls will not be able to keep themselves away from you. Of course, it's entire job is to conceal that gut you've acquired from downing a 30 rack of Budlights every weekend (I know, it's light... it's not weightless and we both know it). So I'm not really sure that this photo really shows you a good representation. </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">You know who SHOULD be modeling this product? NFL defensive linemen. That dude from King of Queens. The kid who did the Truffle Shuffle in The Goonies. Peter Griffin. Or these dudes...</div><p align="center"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/X8sCoeYDrPY&hl=" fs="1&color1=" color2="0xfebd01" width="425" height="344" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></p><div align="left"></div><div align="left">Putting this shirt on a lean, muscly guy is just about as scientifically significant as putting Spanx on Giselle. I can be honest, I have a bit more tummy to keep in than she does. That's fine. Put a normal, softer woman on the ad to convince me that this product will make my tummy flat as a board. Same goes here. Don't show me a 6-packed dude to prove it can make my guy svelt. Put it on a round belly and see if it does the job (or at least makes an improvement). That's a real test. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">Although honestly guys, would you realy wear this? I've found men don't like to be confined. I doubt that most guys even care about having a slight gut. Hot girls date pudgy guys ALL the time. Only pretty dudes from Long Island and Jersey would even consider these... and this would interfere with showing off their waxed and tanned pecks (gag me). I don't see this flying. Of course, it's a British product... so maybe those Euro dudes will sign on, but I'm betting it doesn't take off in the US. We love our fat dudes fat.</div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-29715843491411149192009-02-25T11:23:00.000-08:002009-02-25T17:10:10.933-08:00Airing out, without fresh airWooo life's been busy. My consistency here has been lacking. And just as a heads up, I won't be posting next Wednesday-Friday because I'll be basking in the warmth of FL sunshine (sorry... no time for blogging on vacation).<br /><br /><div></div>Of course for those of you stuck in cold weather areas, you may be dying of stale smelly house stuff (apparently this happens...?) and you won't want to open your windows and let even a smidgen of cold (yet fresh) air in... right? Problem solved.<br /><br /><div></div><div align="center"><a href="http://home-solutions.hsn.com/thermax-mini-max-air-freshener-and-fragrance-2-pack_p-5382563_xp.aspx?ocm=hpr">Mini-Max Air Freshener </a></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306831101944517650" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 300px; height: 300px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRDjuxKQKvx0mo-1m0N3LURJsyNVcS0D06xCWuZ4hFUkvpJFEBdvQi9RgsIof0hJpXF9ee1F_CpyydGtWWvLUEgq4M6FEYvKEdUmIysyu0iw-0I2eP0O9joG_8s7PD1mHPMCpoa4TMvNrR/s320/minimaxair.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div align="left">No, these are not mini kegs, or salt and pepper shakers. Nope. These are alternate "plug-in" air fresheners (can't you tell?) At only 4 1/2 inches tall, these little buggers are water-based air filters. You fill them up and they pump your air through them. So you get the alluring sound of bubbling water (who doesn't love that going in every room of your house), as well as the chance to look at the dirty water once it's been filtering for a few days.<br /><br />And I'm actually just petrified of the 'scents' that come with this. Any lemon-fresh scents made in China will not be circulating around my house. This <span style="font-style: italic;">cannot</span> actually smell good, or fresh. I'm also kind of puzzled how circulating smelly air through crystal light scented water will serve to freshen my house with out making me unbearably nauseous. Whatever happened to opening a box of baking soda, or hell, just sucking it up and opening the window for five minutes. And I can't even begin to speak of the health hazards these could cause if senile grandpa thinks they're the salt and pepper (which they do look JUST like).<br /><br />I think this product has convinced me that if we ever see a bio-terror attack, the terrorists may utilize our bizarre love of 'freshness' to distribute the poison. Poison Febreze, poison Lysol, poison scented Tilex spray... watch out you lovers of 'fresh' scents. Stick with the open windows yo.<br /></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-46672857908518356562009-02-23T14:08:00.000-08:002009-02-23T14:58:20.011-08:00Monday Afternoon Delight... not like that, sickosWell, perhaps you're as tired this afternoon as I am after an eventful, but not restful, weekend. If so... I have something to add to your purchase wish list. And thanks Adam for the product suggestion... I know you'd like one of these too some days. I want like 4... one for each finger, like brass knuckles, but squishy.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.pilopilo.com/index.php"><span style="font-size:130%;">Pilo Pilo</span></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOMhhDJ1FDJu4yKx6ZivEiV5Ibxxxg9nVtiW1tJg1p4MB0MaoQt5T5PgmMGxtf4AIJNpNJbBjB4TzGDv87lQEr3yWLA882oC8iHimq6qRa8Dr0YFzDthsjzfkguodW0nmgZid0Zp0VpKw/s1600-h/pilo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOMhhDJ1FDJu4yKx6ZivEiV5Ibxxxg9nVtiW1tJg1p4MB0MaoQt5T5PgmMGxtf4AIJNpNJbBjB4TzGDv87lQEr3yWLA882oC8iHimq6qRa8Dr0YFzDthsjzfkguodW0nmgZid0Zp0VpKw/s320/pilo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306123725794418642" border="0" /></a>So you're in class, or at your desk and it's about 1:30 and you get the post-lunch snooze button blues. Well, you might think about hiding in the bathroom (yes, I've been known to take a 2 minute shuteye break in the restroom... don't judge), or you could just lay under your desk... but it's a little obvious. But what if you could just lay down on your arm and have a plush little pillow to catch you? It would certainly make day dreaming quite comfortable (and cute... since you can get these pillow rings in any color under the sun). This softer side of bling is pretty cute actually.<br /><br />Of course, logistically, this is perhaps a little much. I don't have $30 so that I can relax at my desk better. Obviously one can't fully sleep like this (even without considering that other people might not like that you're trying to sleep at work). I'm much better off putting my head down on the keyboard and just letting the imprints of the E through I keys linger on my forehead for the next hour or so. At least that way I can hide all the way behind the computer while I sleep. But it's a cute idea and the rings are actually pretty adorable. So it's not quite as outlandish as some other things we've seen out there.<br /></div></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-11538062307165034102009-02-20T10:33:00.000-08:002009-02-20T11:01:32.538-08:00Peelin' OutSo first, I apologize for the lack of posting yesterday. Work got hectic near the end of the day and I plain just forgot about posting. Oops! But luckily, today's product is weird enough for two days of weirdness.<br /><br />Let's get right to it, shall we?<br /><br /><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="https://checkout.primetimesolutions.net/handypeel.com/web/">Handy Peel</a></span></div><br /><div align="center"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b4xw8dJkicI&hl=" width="425" height="344" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" fs="1&color1=" color2="0xfebd01" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></div><br /><div align="center"></div><div align="left">First, this is one of those AMAZING info-mercials which makes you realize just how hard you work as an upper middle class suburban adult. Man, peeling foods IS hard. I get blisters and cuts and open wounds all the time from the knife when peeling all those hundreds of pounds of potatoes for each meal for my 2 person family. And who even owns a peeler? So expensive! So hard to find in the kitchen! So untrustworthy! (probably invented by terrorists.)</div><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">Clearly you see the need for the Handy Peel. I have gloves to use when cleaning the bathtub, and gloves to use when I'm skiing, and gloves to protect my hands from hot pans in the oven, and gloves for doing the dishes (similar, but NOT to be mixed up with the bathroom gloves)... why not gloves for food preparation too? We love gloves here in America. And we love potatoes!</div><br /><div align="left">And what could go wrong about having a pair of gloves covered in small grating devices that can take the skin off of root vegetables? No one could get hurt there. Also, who doesn't want hands that look like Hell-Boy? I mean, if the kids are annoying you while you cook... a small "love pat" with one of these will quiet them I'm sure. Or leave years of very small scars... maybe both. </div><br /><div align="left">I think I'll pass on these too. I can use a peeler just fine (even if it is a terrorist weapon), and this set really just seems dangerous. Imagine confusing this pair with your hot mits... you'd scratch AND burn stuff. Also, the peeling of the carrots comes across (as some on youtube have noted) as a bit too sexual in nature for a TV ad. But it sure is funny. This is why America is great. And why I will never run out of junk to rave about. </div><br /><div align="left"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304955889689956514" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 263px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 246px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoSaafXIz74hsOsspwr92wIA3su6PfDQzeKlqQ0sfGcxV3o6IuW_qpJDQ3yiHzLWWroac4T9B-0Z_HwBwRnmZ93wp2GsGdMetcVsP6LHkS-NNc7uwA4CSnB64KYzb3ebawQd1EutfBzK6u/s320/handy+peel.bmp" border="0" /><br /><div></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-71998644027406322632009-02-18T11:49:00.000-08:002009-02-18T12:54:19.303-08:00When Feminism Just Goes Too FarSo some people have proposed products I should write about that are... how do I put this... extremely personal in nature. And perhaps in the future I will address these (I better, right Christine?)... but for now, perhaps this will ween us into the idea of talking about these very personal habits and experiences.<br /><br /><br />Not to be confused with Go-gurt (which is also funny)<br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.go-girl.com/">Go Girl</a></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304228317681460786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 302px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 229px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgseDHPEIMtvO2Q0OrtkyuRIM8WF8f71MPpEt1mma_HzgupJKi6SHJ4-qWjQkirtfX7MSRFpaffS4ariW3VHIMmCPosY3X6JGDT7BXIy93hPTmB0pYDg5UrFLAr2HOhkQgu2BT3jmY74bja/s320/GoGirl.jpg" border="0" /></span></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>To clarify, yes, this a funnel so that girls can pee standing up. Yup. That's it. A disposable funnel. You pee in to the cup, while standing, and now you're as free as a man. Right? Right. (please take a moment here to be glad I spared you any instructional videos, both for marketing and usage.)</p><p>I think perhaps that even more than the absurdity of this product, I love the website. Just from the homepage is a favorite... when addressing the question of, well, who the heck would use this item? This is who: </p><p><em>"If you camp, you’ll love GoGirl. If you ski, you’ll love GoGirl. If you boat, you’ll love GoGirl. If you travel, you’ll love GoGirl. If you just want to avoid the germs you find in nasty public toilets, you’ll love GoGirl."</em></p><p>Ooo, well then I'll love GoGirl! My thing is, if you love to ski and can't manage to find a bathroom (man or woman)... you have issues. And if you boat... jump in the water and pee til your heart (or bladder) is content. And if you camp, well, then you learned how to squat a long time ago, like billions of women over the last few thousand years have. Do you think Sacajawea or Joan of Arc needed a GoGirl to do their business out in the wilderness? Probably not. I'll side with them over a pink funnel I think. </p><p>My other question is the marketing of this product. Tag line... <em>"Because life's greatest adventure shouldn't be finding a bathroom."</em> Well of course not. In fact, if you need one of these, you're probably already on a much more fascinating and enjoyable adventure. Also, it's actually quite more adventurous to just try to 'go' outside without a gadget. In addition - pink. Why pink? Why not just plain old white. Or yellow? Or green - is it 'green' friendly? I dunno, probably not due to it's disposable nature. It makes me think of breast cancer awareness ... and I don't want to pee on a cancer fundraising item. </p><p>Overall, this is an interesting idea. I suppose it does make some things easier. Certainly less gross in certain port-a-potty situations. But if you haven't learned to hover and squat by the time you're a grown woman, well, you need to slap your mom. These skills are part of the very few things EVERY mother much teach their daughter. I guess I'd probably skip this one, but if you're a germaphobe this may be the way to go. Just don't let anyone open the port-a-potty door on you. It would be totally weird to see a 'lady' standing up to go and not assume...well... you know. </p>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-35579230924948991892009-02-17T13:21:00.000-08:002009-02-17T15:08:57.462-08:00You'll Poke Your (pet's) Eye Out!<div><span style="font-size:100%;">First, hope you all had a fabulous President's Day. If you didn't have the day off.... well... sorry. Sucks to be you. I sat on the couch watching the History Channel (about the presidents, obviously) most of the day and it was wonderful. But alas, we're back to the grind now.<br /></span><div><span style="font-size:100%;">Now, I've talked about stupid pet products before. And I usually don't like to harp on the same thing too often, but I actually saw someone who used this product the other day and it astonished me. </span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-size:100%;">As a background, let me say, it has been QUITE windy in Boston lately. And with all the salt/sand stuff they toss down when it snows, the roads are just covered in grit now that most of the snow/ice stuff has melted. Dirt and sand everywhere + wind = ouch! It really does whip up, and it really does hurt your face when it hits you. And you really should close your eyes. Luckily... your body automatically does this on its own. This is a basic mammalian instinct. So why dogs need help with this, I'm not sure. But one little Bostonian pooch did, and it was stupid. </span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><div align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;"><a href="http://www.doggles.com/eyewear.html">Doggles</a><br /><br /></span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303881237025933714" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 285px; height: 213px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGfESreKRAESjfTq39IJRnMLoc4OgU7s5pK-f2g8tnVaMhu9bjEGdXRpDAl9uqXzJLc9cXNLOVlLVs_mEUQz6B0a9C5X5o0isaLDF8AXPVF5hpAirutuufrsAx5GudObFDfVUK75tvLvy/s320/Doggles.jpg" border="0" />I chose this picture instead of the more regal lab picture they have on the website because THIS is more similar to the type of dog I saw on the streets of Brighton. It also had a rain coat like get up on.. but we'll ignore even that for the purpose of mocking these doggie goggles. Now, I don't wear glasses. And I rarely even wear goggles when swimming (I'm still getting used to them)... and I seem to keep my eyes in tact just fine. I haven't poked them out, nor have I gotten any debris lodged in my eye.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />But according to the site, you NEED doggles for a few reasons.<br />1. <span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"</span><span style="font-style: italic;" class="text">Unlike ordinary sunglasses for dogs, Doggles actually protect dog’s eyes from<br />foreign objects, wind, and UV light."</span></span></span><br /> - wind? really? you need to be protected from air? no.<br /><br />2. <span style="font-style: italic;" class="text">"Dogs have a much wider nose bridge than humans, along with protruding eyes. You<br />need a goggle designed specifically to fit a dog's unique face structure."</span><br /> - oh, so this is for all of you dog owners who have previously been SO consumed with protecting your puppies eyes from wind and sun that you've tried to latch a pair of swimming goggles on him... only to probably injure and annoy him.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">3. <span style="font-style: italic;" class="text">"Vets and Vet Ophthalmologists all around the world<br />recommend our product."<br /></span></span><span class="text"> - Ok, so there are Vet Ophthalmologists? Some of the brightest minds of our generation going to school for years upon years to look at your golden retriever's eyes? Really? We haven't cured cancer or AIDS or even world hunger and we have a whole career path based on the eye sight of pets? I dunno if I'm disgusted or amazed. <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;" class="text"><span style=";font-family:Berlin Sans FB Demi;font-size:130%;" ><span style="line-height: 24px;font-size:20;" ><br /></span></span></span><div align="center"></div></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-88902749755451845982009-02-13T14:52:00.000-08:002009-02-13T15:14:10.066-08:00Sweeter than Sugar... should be for a grandSo for you 30 Rock watchers, this will make much more sense (if you don't watch, you should. Not home on thursdays? Watch it on Hulu.com whenever you like) Well as I was watching I wondered... could I really buy (and eat!) a dessert worth $1000? The answer... yes. Yes I can. In fact, about once a month someone does.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.serendipity3.com/main.htm">Seredipity 3</a> in NYC sells the sundae that is pretty directly alluded to in the most recent 30 Rock. And it's almost as silly as Jack says it is (although no, they haven't managed to have edible 25 carat gold.... only 23).<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Opulence Sundae</span> (the $1000 guilt trip)<br /><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.chocolatebytes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/sundae.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 369px; height: 496px;" src="http://www.chocolatebytes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/sundae.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Ironically, the rest of the menu is pretty modest. $9 appetizers, $20-35 entrees... not so bad. But once a month or so, someone calls 2 days in advance (yes, this is required) to require this dessert that costs more than my car is worth. The sundae is covered in 23-carat edible gold leaf (ya... for real. Can't get some jewelry from your husband for v-day... drown your sorrows by EATING it). And if you're not doing the whole "eat local" thing, that's good because it also has vanilla and chocolate from Tahiti, Madagascar and Venezuela (ooo international).<br /><br />And don't think you're eating this out of grandma's icecream dish with a spoon licked by other patrons. No no. First it features a mother of pearl spoon of caviar. But you dont eat with this (God forbid... who eats caviar with icecream anyways? Ew). You eat your international ice cream out of a Baccarat crystal goblet (that you get to keep... in case you wanna plop some $4 Ben and Jerry's in it tomorrow) with an 18 carat gold spoon.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I'm all about a little indulgence in the dessert realm. I may actually eat some cheesecake for dinner tonight (man that sounds good on my sore throat... maybe not for my diet though... hmmm). But $1000? Eating gold? Would that even be tasty? What wine do you order with gold? And I can't imagine getting it after an $11 BLT on Challah bread or a $14 "Chili-Cheese" Crepe. I don't think the metal would settle well. It certainly would give me wallet indigestion. I'll let you know how it is though when I marry rich, no worries.<br /><br />Happy commercial love day everyone - have a good weekend!Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-902367569958003341.post-24351359961981889972009-02-12T10:53:00.000-08:002009-02-12T11:38:18.133-08:00Hunka hunka burnin' love... meatlovers styleIt's been under great discussion lately what it is about Valentine's Day that convinces so many people to play into it. Is it just the hype? Does it play upon our insecurities that we aren't loved as much as the next person? Do flowers and teddy bears and wearing heels and dresses out to an expensive dinner prove anything about the quality of our relationship? There's a lot of serious societal questions here. But one this is for sure... no matter why it happens, there are A LOT of Valentine's Day themed items out there.<br /><br />Heart shaped paper clips, and candles, and notepads. Heart shaped wallets, and pillows, and of course candies. You can even go out to a nice dinner and order a heart shaped cake to stick your pretty little heart shaped diamond ring in if you're gonna pop the question.<br /><br />Thankfully the pervasive shaping of our culture on Feb. 14th does not stop there. Wanna stay in with your honey on V-day? Or single and want to mope on the couch while watching When Harry Met Sally and crying quietly into your crappy delivery dinner? You can!<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="http://www.papajohns.com/index.shtm"><span style="font-size:130%;">Heart Shaped Pizza</span></a></div><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301991727495415938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 414px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 184px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVK-f6pHRd08wX2P4-1LqaCr9xtNNdYUC91dR26hYIG61di-qmE_O0DpWq9eYQborkF_T2bAK9Ydn5080HnUWjOhyphenhyphentNsabmZHgacq1ugaE2QcL2auq213H43SM4vYyb9qqWlanlK7edRlN/s320/feat_1a_0212.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>In case you can't read it... that's TWO heart shaped pizzas for $20 OR you can get dessert with a heart shaped piza for $15. Not a bad deal. I think I'm gonna buy one just so I can say I dissected a heart this weekend! Also, if you burn your tongue, you can just say you got heart-burn. Man, so punny. </p><p>But if you're too sad over your break up to cook... careful about ordering this lovey-dovey option. It's thin crust so it may not be able to hold up to your flood of tears. But it would be really fun to offer it to a friend by singing a little janis... 'take another little piece of my heart.' Too bad that "Pizza will not be cut to preserve novelty of Heart Shape."... man that's gonna be hard to eat in one big piece. Hahaha. Dumb, and I totally want one.<br /></p><div align="center"></div>Lia-tardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04840473724834766306noreply@blogger.com0