Drip stopper

So it's diet time around the world. Even if you don't do New Years resolutions, or are in the best shape of your life, it's still the post "eat 4 times your weight in cookies and sit around with family" season. So you're probably eating a bit healthier. And in my apartment, that means switching Lindt chocolate truffles and snickerdoodles for those whole fruit popsicles (I suggest grape and strawberry). But for some reason, THIS accessory was not available at Stop & Shop. And now everything I own is covered in purple goo. What I could have used is...



Dripstik

Now, I am clumsy. No doubt about it. If someone is going to drop their popsicle or wear their ice cream... it's me. So I feel the pain here. However, I'm not sure a dumbbell to hold my ice cream for me is going to help. I mean, first and foremost, if I'm eating a waffle cone of double chocolate oreo... do I want to be reminded that I'm not actually lifting weights (although, if I get a double scoop... perhaps the resistance would counter the calories?... I'll have to look into this.)

Other things to note:
-"Great for disabled or elderly persons, stabilizing their treat and offering greater success with self sufficiency." Wow, my grandma is pretty old... but not so old she can't hold an ice cream cone. And you know what I will do if she ever does become unable to hold her own cone? Put it in a bowl. And really, if she can't hold a cone... could she hold a "Dripstik" Probably not. Sorry Oma.
-"Protects frozen treats from dirt on the ground. If your child takes a fall, the Dripstik rolls on it's side, holding the Popsicle off the ground." Overprotective much? I mean, every kid needs to know the tragedy of dropping your icecream. Also, this gadget is $7. A new popsicle is what, like 15 cents? The math doesn't add up. Unless your kid has a bum leg and falls all the time... in which case, well, sucks to be him. I'm sure a plastic dumbbell for his ice cream will brighten his day.
-"The Dripstik can be used with: *waffle cones, sugar cones, cake cones, Popsicles, fudgesicles, frozen treats on a stick." If I had a Dripstik, all I'd want to do with it is put in a frozen banana from the banana stand. You know what they say... there's always money in the banana stand.