Whole new meaning to 'Grandma does needlepoint'

So, I'm back. In fact, I've been back for a couple days. But they've been VERY eventful, so I didn't blog. I've been busy getting into graduate school and getting scholarship and the like. So that's cool. Of course, the same day I got a merit based scholarship, I lost one of my gym sneakers in my apartment and have yet to find it (after more than an hour of digging through my room...) so my real intelligence is still up for debate. But nevermind that. 

As you know, I've been doing a little flying. And when you fly, you get bored of sitting. Inevitably you look in the seat pocket in front of you, ignore the barf bag and the safety card (which one serves to freak you out that you're a few miles in the air), and pick up SkyMall. SkyMall is fabulous and full of silly things. The next few posts will be dedicated to the glory of Sky Mall. 

Aculife Therapist Deluxe

"Be your own acupuncturist. Diagnose and heal yourself and your family"

One might guess that in a SkyMall magazine, I could scan right past this. It looks generic and harmless. It could be an mp3 player, an insulin tester, a travel alarm clock... no big deal. But the tag line. Does this seem like a good plan? Not only are you being a therapist of something you have no training in, you are being TOLD to diagnose yourself. I mean, alternative medicine is one thing, but skipping out on all trained doctors all together? Doesn't seem smart. Or safe. And why am I being told this while I'm on a plane? 

Also, this doesn't involve needles. Which I'm pretty sure is the point of acupuncture. Mostly I get this from the puncture part of the word. This is more acupressure. Or acu-shock. Since that's what this gadget does. It helps you relieve blocked 'qi' but finding your 'qi spots' (with hand map sent with kit) and zap them with a charge. 

Ya know, I could just blow up this hand picture in the magazine, get my hand damp and stick a 12 volt to it right? Clear up my 'Qi' real fast. Done and done. Equally as dumb and probably equally as healthy.