If I had an iron, I'd iron my breakfast meats...wait, what?

So, as you may know, I'm a huge proponent of cooking. And I lust after kitchen gadgets like frat dudes on spring break. Seriously, it's bad. My level of resistance to new pans/pots/measuring cups/pizza stones/pot holders/garlic presses (you see the problem here...) is quite low. If I read a blog about a kind of cake, I want to try out making this cake and I must buy the new pan for it. But even I have my limitations and today I found it. 

While perusing Surlatable.com (I was looking at pretty canning jars for storage and cast iron skillets), I found a bacon press. A bacon press? Wait... what? You can iron your bacon? Yes... yes you can. 

Apparently the biggest tragedy in breakfast foods and bacon-added sandwiches is the wrinkles of the bacon. And a regular old grill press (see here ...they use them at restaurants to cook your burgers faster) will not do. No no no. What if we need to cook our bacon and the burger at the same time??? We cannot press them both! And I cannot possibly eat one more sandwich with wrinkly bacon that cracks ununiformly when I bite it. 

Also, clearly bacon needs to be reminded that it used to be a pig. And that now it has been stripped, salted and now pressed into submission as my food. So we like to remind it with a cute little piggy emblem that will sear onto the bacon. Hahaha take that. It's like the waterboarding of meat products - gotta show them who runs this kitchen !

I'd like 3 please. My birthday is July 25th, just in case you didn't already have it highlighted on your calendar.