Monday, April 13, 2009

Double Trouble in Apartment Hunting

Today is an unconventional ridiculous 'product'. Here's a little back story... so I'm moving to a new city in August (Minneapolis to be exact) and I'm trying to find a place to live. Now, this is awkward for a few reasons. One, I cannot go look at places to live in person. Two, I want to live with a roommate (living by myself is boring/lonely), but again, cannot go up and meet people. So craigslist and phone chats it is. And for the most part people are pretty honest - they want a good roommate as much as I do. But I've found this odd sect of people (*cough* guys) on Craigslist who have decided it's a good idea to combine their dating post with their housing post. 

A few examples: 

$400 Room for rent at my house (Minneapolis)

Date: 2009-04-12, 11:03PM CDT

I have a room for rent in the Cleveland neighborhood of Minneapolis. Its a great neighborhood near the park system and near the busline. Its about a 7 minute drive downtown and $12 cab ride downtown. My house is a 4 bedroom 3 bath. The room is on the 2nd floor.

$400/month includes laundry, Internet, Cable TV, Heat, Water, grabage, and electricity. The house has lots of storage space, remodeled kitchen with stainless steel appliances, a dishwasher, central air conditioning, and a ping pong table.

Room could be furnished if need be.

I have attached some pictures of myself and the place. You can also look me up on facebook. I am an intelligent, ambitious, tall, single male in my late 20s. I work in the IT field and am a real estate broker. I am busy socially and professionally. I like to play basketball and exercise quite frequently. Rent can be month to month if needed.

Let me know if interested. Feel free to reply or call. I am a bit busy, but will respond within 24 hours.

Scott ****
(yes, he did put his full name on Craigslist, but I feel wrong reposting that.) 
(again, yup... we could call him for a good time)

  • cats are OK - purrr
  • dogs are OK - wooof
  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 1119552045-0

image 1119552045-1
image 1119552045-2

So 3 pictures of the house... and one shot of him. Now.... why do i  need to know if he's tall, or single? I am looking for an apartment. Not a bed buddy. If I was looking for someone to share my life with... I probably wouldn't want my own room. Just saying. 

Another option... 

female companion...almost free (mpls)

Date: 2009-04-12, 2:17PM CDT

I am a 30s single liberal male with an extra bdrm. I am looking for a sexy open minded female to join me at my 3 bdrm nicely furnished upper duplex in uptown. The room is available today, and I am open to all possible offers or arrangements. 

  • Location: mpls
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Great! This doesn't sound dangerous or stupid at all! No info on the space at all. No pictures of the apartment or the person. No name even. Sounds great - can I movein  tomorrow? Really you're just a live in maid/prostitute in this situation I'm pretty sure. But lastly... man, this is a class act. 

$475 seeking younger stoner female roommate! (South Minny/Richfield) (map)

Date: 2009-04-01, 1:05AM CDT

I have a 2br house to myself. Rent is negotiable. I don't really NEED a roommate, but figured if a cool cat came around that needed a spot, i'd be willing to rent it. I am 27 single, and don't have peeps over much. Not home a lot. Both neighbors are good friends of mine. The house is a duplex, and the neighbor i share walls with is a DJ. So applicant may want to be partial to electro/house music:) To be entirely frank, I have a maid come once a month, and the last time they came they stole some shit. Now I don't have a maid... Not implying that my roomy would take her place, but i'd be willing to deduct rent if that was assured. I'm quite busy and rather lazy. Not gonna lie. Just gonna put it out there for ya. If this seems like something you'd be interested in, email me a lil about yourself and we'll talk. Cheers 

58th at Blaisdell 
(google map) (yahoo map)
  • Location: South Minny/Richfield
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 1101747789-0
image 1101747789-1

Ya, I'm emailing this dude RIGHT NOW. Uber classy, clearly. And totally my type. Mmmm look at that blue steel pout. And house music? I LOVE house music; that will really help me study for my MBA courses too. To heck with what I said. This is a great way to sell yourself and your home together as a package deal and to shop for other people who see themselves as commodities! I'm posting my listing right now... of course I will include pouting pictures and me in soemthing maid like... perhaps a bikini and apron? I'll have free rent and no self respect in no time! TADA!

1 comment:

  1. Wow...just, wow...why wait until tomorrow, the dude said you can move in TODAY! :)

    Lia, I didn't know about your blog until right now (saw it on Twitter). It is amazing! You should use twitter to get people to come here (and bring friends). You are a fantasiclly comedic writer with an amazing dose of sarcasm that actually comes across on paper er...screen. Well done, lady, well done!