Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Homeless by Design

So after getting back my accounting final today (I scored a sub-par 64 of 104)... I decided that perhaps I should just plan my life around being unemployed. And then I thought, hey, why not go all out? I should start prepping now for homelessness. I already have a collection of strange and heavily warn t-shirts from high school that I've been wearing as gym/pj shirts for years now (classy, I know). But what about bedding? Certainly my navy and white geometrically patterned duvet will not do on the streets. Nor will my gloriously rust colored sheets with small eyelets around the seams. They just won't do. But wherever can I get homeless appropriate home goods?

So this is a 'cardboard box' patterned duvet. It can be partnered with accompanying pillow cases (as shown), as well as sheets in a lovely stone sidewalk pattern, as seen below.

I can only imagine how bad ass this is to hipster teenagers in England. I mean, what makes passing out drunk and unbathed in your skinny jeans while listening to the Clash show more awesome dedication to the hipster, punk rawk lifestyle? AND some of the profits go to charity! So you can 'keep it real' and give your capitalistic proceeds to the less fortunate. Now you're a green/socially forward thinking hipster. OMG. You will be getting ALL the skinny hippie groupie girls into your homeless dude bed in no time. Fail proof plan really. Every self respecting girl on heroin has been begging to sleep on a fake sidewalk for years now. It's way better than passing out on a real one, I'm sure of it.

I guess I can't judge. It goes to a 'good cause,' which I'm a sucker for, of course. But really? Who did the product design on this? I do also admire that it addresses the quality of the image and print quality saying 'This high quality flat sheet features a photographic print of a pavement. This produces an extremely sharp image that stays flexible because the ink is printed directly in the cotton. The image will stay crisp after frequent washing.' *PHEW* I mean, I plan on washing my homeless person sheets ALL THE TIME. Just like the homeless do. I wouldn't want my cardboard box duvet to fade after I wash out the smell of clove cigarettes and PBR and replace it with the scent of mom's Downy fabric softener and dirty white kid dreadlocks. That would be horrible.

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