Friday, February 27, 2009

Man Oh Man

First, I'm bad at this daily thing. I should've named this blog "Ridiculous Product of Most Days"... alas, I did not. Nothing I can do now. However, if I'm feeling a little down and need a good pick me up, I CAN put on some control top panty hose and strut my hot stuff. It always makes a girl feel better to look awesome (even if it means being a bit confined). Lucky for you gentlemen, or dudes if you're more of that persuation, this option is coming your way.

Got a flubby tummy? Maybe even a muffin top? *gasp* No longer.

Ya, this tummy-tucking man girdle shirt makes you SO sexy that girls will not be able to keep themselves away from you. Of course, it's entire job is to conceal that gut you've acquired from downing a 30 rack of Budlights every weekend (I know, it's light... it's not weightless and we both know it). So I'm not really sure that this photo really shows you a good representation.
You know who SHOULD be modeling this product? NFL defensive linemen. That dude from King of Queens. The kid who did the Truffle Shuffle in The Goonies. Peter Griffin. Or these dudes...

Putting this shirt on a lean, muscly guy is just about as scientifically significant as putting Spanx on Giselle. I can be honest, I have a bit more tummy to keep in than she does. That's fine. Put a normal, softer woman on the ad to convince me that this product will make my tummy flat as a board. Same goes here. Don't show me a 6-packed dude to prove it can make my guy svelt. Put it on a round belly and see if it does the job (or at least makes an improvement). That's a real test.
Although honestly guys, would you realy wear this? I've found men don't like to be confined. I doubt that most guys even care about having a slight gut. Hot girls date pudgy guys ALL the time. Only pretty dudes from Long Island and Jersey would even consider these... and this would interfere with showing off their waxed and tanned pecks (gag me). I don't see this flying. Of course, it's a British product... so maybe those Euro dudes will sign on, but I'm betting it doesn't take off in the US. We love our fat dudes fat.

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