Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Things he doesn't want...

Well my favorite holiday for stupid consumerism is fast approaching... Valentines Day. Don't think I'm bitter. I'm not, I think love is grand. However, I have an issue with using a day as an excuse to a)ask someone on a date (suck it up and just do it when you like them) b) flowers costing WAY more than they already do. c) dress up and go somewhere fancy when you'd be just as happy cuddling at home after eating Wendy's. Just saying.

But with this lovely annual event comes great gift-giving ideas. I mean, you JUST figured out what to get your significant other for Christmas. Even if they didn't make you return it, you're certainly out of good ideas. But msn shopping has some suggestions for him and for her.

I chose to check out the "For Him"... and if you have some money, the "Over $100" section.
So, there are some decent gifts here. However, these three, no. Just no. If you want to buy this, don't. Just give your man a check for $100 instead. Or buy him $100 in beer. Something useful.
A collectable of course
A beer watch. A watch dedicated to BAD beer none the less. It could only be worse if you wanted to pay nearly $150 for a Keystone watch. Also, this is a huge waste of funds for your Bud-loving hubby. This could buy about fourteen 12-packs. That's 168 beers. Any dude would trade a watch for that many beers, but especially one so dedicated to the cause of drinking. This also does not say 'I love you' or 'Please romance me' - not one bit.

Alright, next up is this lovely leather jacket. Which, if the 'artwork' was not included, might be a nice gift for your badass man. But this... man, this is why I don't miss the South somedays (just SOME days).

I decided to give you the lovely artwork view. The rest just looks like a leather jacket. But this - this epic airbrushing of Robert E. Lee, loser of the Civil War... man, beautiful. Nothing says I'm so glad we have a bi-racial president like the support of the confederacy. Of course, perhaps your biker hubby has a giant pony tail, in which case, this might be obscured a little. And we can't just go hiding freaking Robert E. Lee under a tuft of nappy biker hair. SO... getting him this jacket may actually encourage him to get a hair cut. If so... I guess you can buy it.

Lastly, and my most favorite valentines day gift for him... this lovely sportsman ring.

SO many good things about this. First, YOU might be expecting a nice piece of jewelry on V-Day, but you can bet he's not. What a surprise! Second, if he punches someone, they'll get a bass imprint on their face. Alternately, if his finger swells after that huge brawl, he will have "Gone Fishing" on his finger... backwards. Just as cool as a tattoo. And really, what doesn't say success like a HUGE gold-plated ring with onyx inlay with a jumping fish on it? And (I quote) it "also features raised relief treble-hook lures on each side of the ring." AND it's available in 3 easy enstallments of $45 each. A lay away fishing ring. Why is this not at every Wal-mart worldwide?
This ring has so many benefits. And not one drawback I can think of. This is the mens Valentines Day gift of 2009 for sure.

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