Tuesday, February 17, 2009

You'll Poke Your (pet's) Eye Out!

First, hope you all had a fabulous President's Day. If you didn't have the day off.... well... sorry. Sucks to be you. I sat on the couch watching the History Channel (about the presidents, obviously) most of the day and it was wonderful. But alas, we're back to the grind now.
Now, I've talked about stupid pet products before. And I usually don't like to harp on the same thing too often, but I actually saw someone who used this product the other day and it astonished me.

As a background, let me say, it has been QUITE windy in Boston lately. And with all the salt/sand stuff they toss down when it snows, the roads are just covered in grit now that most of the snow/ice stuff has melted. Dirt and sand everywhere + wind = ouch! It really does whip up, and it really does hurt your face when it hits you. And you really should close your eyes. Luckily... your body automatically does this on its own. This is a basic mammalian instinct. So why dogs need help with this, I'm not sure. But one little Bostonian pooch did, and it was stupid.

I chose this picture instead of the more regal lab picture they have on the website because THIS is more similar to the type of dog I saw on the streets of Brighton. It also had a rain coat like get up on.. but we'll ignore even that for the purpose of mocking these doggie goggles. Now, I don't wear glasses. And I rarely even wear goggles when swimming (I'm still getting used to them)... and I seem to keep my eyes in tact just fine. I haven't poked them out, nor have I gotten any debris lodged in my eye.

But according to the site, you NEED doggles for a few reasons.
1. "Unlike ordinary sunglasses for dogs, Doggles actually protect dog’s eyes from
foreign objects, wind, and UV light."

- wind? really? you need to be protected from air? no.

2. "Dogs have a much wider nose bridge than humans, along with protruding eyes. You
need a goggle designed specifically to fit a dog's unique face structure."

- oh, so this is for all of you dog owners who have previously been SO consumed with protecting your puppies eyes from wind and sun that you've tried to latch a pair of swimming goggles on him... only to probably injure and annoy him.

3. "Vets and Vet Ophthalmologists all around the world
recommend our product."
- Ok, so there are Vet Ophthalmologists? Some of the brightest minds of our generation going to school for years upon years to look at your golden retriever's eyes? Really? We haven't cured cancer or AIDS or even world hunger and we have a whole career path based on the eye sight of pets? I dunno if I'm disgusted or amazed.

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