Thursday, January 15, 2009

Because we're just too lazy to wash our own bodies...

Well, it's the dead of winter right now... as many of you above the mason dixon line may have noted (due to the snow, sub-zero temperatures and inability to walk anywhere without falling flat on your face... due to ice... not just clutsiness). And part of living somewhere cold is the horrible realization you have to get out of bed in the morning... onto the cold floor, and go to the bathroom on a cold toilet... well, at least SOME of us do.

Not in the East (such as China, Korea and even Australia) apparently.

Alright, so the website doesn't really do it justice. But you know what does? This dude's blog. (yes, i found a blog talking about this toilet... so what?) Anyway, this man came across this fancy invention when visiting Korea and proceeds to explain all its wonderful features.

Things to Note:
-The seat has a few functions. "Comfort, heat and a gentle vibration massage," as it is described. Let's first go with comfort. Check, I guess that's good. Second, heat... well... ok, in the winter this would be stellar. I'll take it. But vibrating? Massage? I mean, after my 'boot camp' class yesterday at the gym, my butt muscles are a bit sore... but I don't think a vibrating toilet seat is the answer. Nor do I think this would help me do any toilet appropriate activities with more ease. If anything, a vibrating toilet would scare my body from doing anything it was meant to do in the bathroom.

- Next is this washing deal. Now, I'm not European, so I've never understood this post-toilet rinse bidet deal. I can kind of see the value though. So I'll give it a shot. What I think is so funny is that it has TWO washing abilities. One for 'family use' and one for 'feminine use' (thank goodness this website knows women aren't part of families... we're our own deal). But say, just for arguments sake, that you're a mom. Now do you use both? Or because you're a family gal, do you give up the feminine nonsense? Just wondering.

- Lastly, it dries your butt with some nice warm air. Now, I think this would be a strange sensation (although, if you have butt hair... and if you do, please don't tell me... this would be somewhat similar to using a hair dryer I guess). I mean, is this like the basic air hand driers? Cause those don't work, in which case you'd probably wet your pants after your little rinsing actuion. Or is this like those power driers that blow your skin all weird... in which case this may actually be great as an anti-cellulite product too. Either way, I'll just take some TP please.

Perhaps these are the toilets of the future and they're replace our old dingy plain toilets (like cell phones vs. rotary phones) but perhaps by then I'll be old and it'll be ok for me to keep the classic style. I hope so. My butt is just fine without all the wiggling, washing and warming.


  1. Hmmm, bidets seem troublesome (especially the ones in South America where you can adjust the pressure and there is no apparent limit so if you want to you can soak the ceiling...had to put it use somehow right? I mean other than the intended use, cause I too prefer the old tp classic) What about the mysterious '3 shell method' from that Sylvester Stallone movie where he goes to the future and asks for toilet paper and they make fun of him becuase he doesn't know how to use the 3 shells? I have no idea how these shells supposedly would work (so I guess they'll be laughing at me in the future...or now...) but assuming they did, perhaps the shells could be heated??

    Unfortunately, after typing the first half of this comment, I googled the subject just to determine the name of the particular movie (Demolition Man) and found this site ( ) attempting to solve the mystery...

    I think tp is still the best solution cause really, who wants to go out at night throwing water jets and shells in someone's trees and front yard anyway?

    Anyways, great overall blog you've put together here! Your commentary does these whacked products the justice they deserve! Later!:)

  2. As someone who lived in Korea (for 3 years), I admit when I stayed in a hotel with one of these toilets, I didn't try out all the options. The buttons (not in English) seemed overwhelming and there is just something in me that won't push the buttons while sitting on the toilet. I will say though, I LOVED the heated seat! Those Japanese (as they are actually the inventors/producers of these toilets) are inovative to be sure. Who doesn't cringe and brace themselves on a cold winter morning at the idea of having to climb out of a nice warm bed only to sit on an ice cold toilet? If I had the money, I would definitely have a toilet with the heated seat! Thanks for sharing Lia!